I feel like absolute shit. There’s a hole in my chest and I fucking hate Tumblr now. I fucking hate almost everything now; and at the end of the day nothing changes. I still care for you, I’m still so far away, and you’re still with him. I still haven’t been able to write any music; I turned my phone off, and pushed away everybody. I can’t trust anybody. Everybody just wants something “juicy” to gossip about. I don’t really know many people that will be there for you just to actually be there for you. She was the very last human being I knew that still gave me hope. Not just hope of a relationship, nothing petty at all actually. As stupid as this may fucking sound, a great amount of my faith in everything came from her. She made me question everything I’d ever theorized to be closest to the truth. She’s the reason I still believe in perfect. She was the closest thing to perfect this fucking life of mine has ever drawn me to. I wouldn’t be surprised if I was the last to know; if I trusted everyone to tell me the truth and was completely let down.I don’t believe in karma. Not one bit. And I never will. Maybe he’ll spoil you more than I ever could right now. Maybe he’s a better person than I ever will be. He just might be. I’ve accomplished zero; the cavity inside me was already there but it’s all the way stretched out now. FUCK, maybe if i wasn’t me, things would be much fucking different. Every post that popped up on my dash from you hurt that much more knowing now that there’s no way that it was placed there with me in mind; and i couldn’t take it anymore. So i still hate all of these fucking websites i’ve resorted to for expressing all of the fucking emptiness i feel. All of them.
“Lay Me Out Across The Grave”